Recent Posts
On The Road Again
I’ve been on the road for eight days with four more days to go and I am cold, tired, and desperately want to poop in my own toilet. The trip started in Florida which was delightful because, although I’m traveling for work, I got to visit my grandparents. Any opportunity to see them is appreciated [...]
Anger Management
Angering people makes me happy. Not in a, “you’re angry so I’m smiling” sort of way. More like in a “I personally have angered you and now I’m experiencing such great joy that I feel like I may very well have discovered the meaning of life” sort of way. It took years for me to [...]
Happy Halloween
Although I think we can all agree that MLK Day is the holiday, All Hallow’s Eve is definitely in the upper echelon of celebratory occasions. Here are 5 inarguable reasons: 1) Halloween is awesome, but it’s much better as an adult than it ever was when I was a kid. All the neighborhood children come to my [...]
Vote Republican
I believe in lower taxes, smaller government, and the right to bear arms. I’m also pro-choice, anti-religion, and think that Republicans, generally speaking, are idiots. Lucky for me, I can vote for Obama because I have a good accountant, the government doesn’t infringe on my life in almost any way that I notice, and I [...]
Don’t Call It A Gum Back
I’ve chewed here for years. Rocking veneers, Keeping your teeth in fear. If you’ve been following the saga of my dental adventures of late, you’ll know what you’re getting into here. If not, I strongly suggest you read both: Teeth Don’t Fail Me Now! and Teeth Don’t Fail Me Now! The Pictures! Those will bring [...]
Teeth Don’t Fail Me Now (PHOTOS)
Allrighty then…if you’ve read my last blog, Teeth Don’t Fail Me Now!, you’ll understand the significance of this particular blog. If you haven’t, go read that first, then come back to this one. Seriously, don’t be a retard. Do as you’re told. That said, the previous entry left off at my visit to Dr. Sam, the [...]
Teeth Don’t Fail Me Now
I’m at a Mexican restuarant with my girlfriend and another couple. Both of the girls are super hot and we’re all dressed nicely. After dinner we’ve got tickets to Quidam, one of the traveling Cirque du Soleil shows. It’s the first time one of those shows is in the Washington DC area and I’m overwhelmed [...]
More Things That Don’t Exist (Video)
Remember 50 Things That Don’t Exist? Well here are some more. Stop, just stop.
Ant Agonize
Let me say up front that I like all of my neighbors a great deal. The majority of them have figured out not to try to befriend me, speak to me, or engage me in any manner including, but not limited to, eye contact. The lone retarded gentleman who believes that, because we share the [...]
Tweeting of The CNN Debate in Florida
I watched the CNN Republican debate in Florida. These are my tweets: Rick Santorum is a bottom. “Sorry, I have the pube of a woman that is not Calista stuck in my throat.” – Newt Gingrich “I have some questions for you Republicanos!” – Juan Epstein’s mother Speaking of jihadists…we have a question from someone [...]
